25 thoughts on “Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive”

1. prove

2. I know 500 kids who have been molested and you have to take my word for it because this is the internet and you can’t prove that I’m lying

3. anybody that sees this and thinks that it is real realy needs get out a little more.You know go out get laid have a beer relax a little. hang with some friends that is if you have any left. OR you could do something old school like READ A FUCKING BOOK.
   Pease out

4. “If we can protect just one child from a guy like you we will have done our job.” Ha! I think more interviews should be concluded this way!

5. So because you have personal experience with it, we can’t joke about it? We can laugh our asses off at things like Homicide, Death and Bigotry, but God forbid we find the humour in something the YOU’VE had experience with, Your Majesty.

   Christ, that’s the most uneducated thing I’ve ever read. People have the right to laugh at whatever they want. Welcome to the internet.

6. Stop saying that the “news” is sick because I was molested as a child and the only reason why I didn’t tell anyone about that was because of people like you who would automaticly look at me completly differently – as at a poor child who had horrible experience and you have to treat them diferently.

7. wtf lol, “i bet you didn’t get very far with that kid.”

   “no, not that one”

8. ahahahahahahahahahah

9. well yousuperpussy, if you weren’t so self-righteous, perhaps you would’ve noticed the hundreds of other “disgusting” topics that the onion pokes fun at; it’s only when they hit a topic that you feel personally connected with that it becomes unacceptable; child abuse is horrible and should be punishable by death, everyone who’s sane understands that. grow up

10. I love The Onion.

11. “I bet you didn’t get very far with that kid”

    Guys stfu, this is fake, it isn’t real… Yeah kids are moelested all the time and its a sick joke…

    Well so is everything else…

12. discusting? for real?….. it’s “disgusting” but if you know over ten people who have been molested you gotta get the fuck out of what ever shit hole you’re in…..

13. lol, he molests kids to better understand how to prevent molestation.

14. Hey it has to be turned into a joke. How else will the therapy work for the child if it ain’t made funny?

15. funny

16. White hat pedophile.

17. wow u have quite the family.

18. *sorry i meant so many shows of the style that this sketch mocks

19. the real joke is not about making light of the situation, it’s mocking the media and how they deal with such grotesque subjects as this. It’s not the talk of molestation that’s the main joke it’s the fact that the presenters are just happily nodding along as if they don’t even care what’s being said, making a mockery of so many shows like this one

20. First of all for the people who are talking about how he is still a rapist and whatnot, need to realize this is a joke.

    However it is a discusting joke.
    You for reposting this should be fucking ashamed. Tons of kids are molested all the time, and you make some kind of sick joke about it? I know over ten people who have been molested in my family and close friends.

    You are a fucking sick bastard.

21. Failblog should upload this tbh

22. CBS should flat out hire these two for the Early Show. Couldn’t hurt.

23. no i’m italian,we didn’t know what onion news network is,but i just learnd from other comments that is a fake news program….

24. Ahahha i actually thought this was real for the first 20 secs i was like :O wtf!! Lmao so so funny!! Good times!!!

25. isnt michael jackson suppose to be in this vid-….oh wait….nvm